Friday, July 24, 2015

Power Flow

People have auras of power. Power is strongest when it easily given and returned. Power is slightly weaker when it is constantly taken. Power is weak when no power is given or gained.

The comedian Brian Regan can be termed as powerful, but not a threatening power. As a comedian, he often distorts his body and facial expressions into bizarre expressions that make him less attractive (giving power). He often receives laughter and applause (he receives the power they give).  There is a balanced flow between people giving of their focus and physically expressing appreciation (clapping and laughing), and Brian Regan continually puts himself in vulnerable positions by putting a lot of energy into his jokes. There is a circular flow of power.

Someone looking directly at someone else is giving them power. If the 2nd person is looking at the floor, they are absorbing the power. If they are contributing to a better balance of power, they will nod or make movements or eye contact at key points in the communication.


Boredom is a way to gain power and establish identity. To illustrate this concept, imagine the scene in Tron when Quorra brings Sam Flynn back to "headquarters" she is 1)gorgeous 2)in a futuristic environment 3)lounges casually on an electric-lit couch. She absorbs her environment because she is "one" with her environment. She doesn't acknowledge it, instead directing her focus to Sam's amazement at the environment (giving away his power). It illustrates a part of her identity, she doesn't recognize it as anything out of the ordinary. She absorbs the power of being in an interesting environment that does not draw her attention because it is part of her life. (receives power based on "coolness" of environment, holding our attention, but below the qualifications of her attention) She gives some of her power to Sam by watching him while his attention is elsewhere.

Essentially, it is draining to be around "high-power" personalities who consistently take power from those around them. They may be termed as "obnoxious", "gregarious", "intense". They seek to keep the attention and focus on them (take power). Those who only listen only give of their power.

Those who listen give of power, however there is a balancing response when people feel appreciated by the listeners and listen well in response. There are some quiet people who give of power and then when they try to speak, they are ignored. They stay at low levels of power. When a quiet person speaks and the group listens intently to catch every word and then has a big reaction, they give power back to the quiet and originally low-power person. I have recognized this in my husband. I sometimes worry that because he is soft-spoken, people will talk over him when he speaks. However, I've noticed the people have an intense focus and actively listen (nod head at key points, raise eyebrows in agreement) to him. He exerts minimal effort, but he has the respect of the listeners. Rather than fight for attention (give power), he waits patiently for a moment when people want to know his opinion (they give him power).

TTFN,
Court

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Body Language

Body language is a whole other realm of awareness. There's a quote that intrigues me to no end: "People may not tell you how they feel about you, but they will always show you. PAY ATTENTION." That can lead to a dangerous road of over-analysis, but don't go there. Just be aware of how people respond to different stimuli. If you pay enough attention, you will become emotionally mature. 


If I make myself smaller (slouch, fold arms, cross legs, etc.) then I do not want to be noticed. If I make myself bigger (sit up straight, shoulders back, stand with legs shoulder-width apart) then I want to be noticed and I feel more confident. Power stance is a concept that seems 100% cheesy and silly. Right up until you try it. 

Before a high-pressure situation, do not be sitting down, hunched over. Stand. Put your hands on your hips and keep your shoulders rolled back. It will boost endorphins and will decrease cortisol levels. This is a tried-and-true concept from a TED talk by Amy Cuddy. (Available on Netflix). It's best to stand in the power pose in private, so as not to weird out the general public. 

I think the best way of assuring a confident mindset is to be intelligent. There are many levels of intelligence. Spatially-intelligent, gramatically-intelligent, sports-intelligent. Whatever your interests are, know it. Then be confident enough in your area of study that you can be humble and open to learning from others about their areas of interest, so as to gain intelligence in another thing. 

Bodylanguagesuccess.com is an informal blog that evaluates and analyzes the body language of different people. Facial expressions are tell-all secret divulgers when understood properly. Learn the tricks for when someone is lying (look up and to the left to access creative part of the brain to make up something). People who blush easily are considered sincere. When standing, feet point towards the object of desire or interest. 

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

The Sixth Sense: Awareness.

The Power of Observation
Finally, it's happening. I have been mulling over the idea of writing a book for over 10 years and I'm starting.
This isn't just a moment for me, it can be a moment for you. Everyone has a story to share.
Maybe it was Beyonce's song "I Was Here" or maybe it's my grandmother's desire to write an autobiography, but I just feel like I need to leave a mark. I have and have had too many intriguing people and circumstances in my life to not immortalize them in some way. It would actually be selfish of me to not at least attempt to encapsulate the wonder and amazement of things around me.
My husband and I have been married almost 2 months and just for fun we asked the questions of the article, "To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This" (article by New York Times). There were several probing questions that demanded self-analysis. It is really a deep desire of mine to write! Doesn't matter what. I can just imagine the release and peace of publishing just one work and knowing that I actualized a dream.
Let's do this thing!! -Ratatouille